For now on, I will reframe from getting hard while we talk on the phone. I have also decided to make a genuine effort to stop focusing on sex in general. Here is my oath.
- I swear that for now on I will not think of sex while thinking of you, talking to you or texting you.
- I will no longer day dream about biting down on your soft round nipples until you say stop.
- I promise not to smile while I reminisce about having sex in the shower until the water was cold.
- I will no longer ask you on camera to take it off – uhh, uhh.
- I will not think about your lips and your tongue in places with tight spaces where pretty faces should not go.
- I swear to never bring up high heels, chocolate syrup and cherries in the same conversation so often.
- The word creaming will never again make me blush and make me cream.
I, Tone Alawishus Johnson, promise all of the above.
See I used my full “govmint” name so I got to be telling the truth.
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